HIMS: Hetalia International Middle School
by ChidorixCixBritannia
Summary: Follow the life of an insane German & a Swearing Southern Italian as the try to survive their days at their hilariously funny, random, and sometimes horribly dangerous school, HIMS. Rated M for heavy swears & an even heavier dose of sarcasm :P (Read at your own risk, for it is pure personal crack. (Just consider this drunken ramblings))
1. November 30th 2011 Last Break

**B: Hey peeps. Captain and I are going to write about our lives as hetalia characters at our school, i hope you like it!**  
><strong>C: Oh Britty... Your horrible grammar never ceases to astound me...<strong>  
><strong>B: tomato bastard...<strong>  
><strong>C: Well, your a potato bastard!<strong>  
><strong>B: tomato!<strong>  
><strong>C: Potato!<strong>  
><strong>B: Tomato! tomatos are the worst!<strong>  
><strong>C: Pftt...Well, before I forget, and we both get our asses sued, we own nothing! There... Our simple and to the point <em><span>disclaimer<span>_.**  
><strong>B: can't stop us from wishing though... kolkolkol! and your a tomato bastard<strong>  
><strong>*Captain runs off into the distance chasing Britty and screaming things that would make a sailor blush*<strong>

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><p>(We are going to be using a series of code names is case anyone from our lovely school reads this, alongside the simple matter of internet security. Not that all of you are creepers or terrorists, or anything... Totally not...)<p>

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><p><em><strong>So I, Captain, am South Italy or Romano on account of my heavy swearing and sarcasm. (B: FYI, she has not found her Antonio yet. So don't piss her off, because there's no lovely Spanish boy to hold her back now when she starts to pelt you with tomatoes) I may not Britty, but I do have a creepy stalker that we shall call FP due to the fact that he will most likely become a pedo or phsycopath at the tender age of 28. Congrats for him.<strong>_

_**And I Chidori, I dont know where the fuck Captain got 'Britty" (C: Umm, your last name? B: shut up bitch) And so I shall be Germany, because of my awesomeness genes of awesome European German (C: WHY DON'T YOU BE FUCKING PRUSSIA?) SHUT UP BITCH! grrrrrrrrr... oh yeah, back to what i was saying, i have random spurts of Russia in me, so i think i am 1/4 prussian.(C: Tehehe...) XD haha **_

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><p>"WHO THE FUCKS BRA WAS THAT!" we scream in union.<p>

A white bra had just flew by in the air right past our heads.

I mean, it MISSED our heads by an inch.

We heard a scream and turned to watch the following spectacle from our comfy spot on our bench against the wall.

The girl who's bra had appeared to have been flung was blushing like a tomato and was trying to shove herself into the deepest and darkest corner of her locker.

I looked over to find the boy who had done it. He wasn't that hard to find, as he was rolling on the floor laughing.

I got the urge to kick him as he rolled dangerously near my foot, but decided against it, don't need to be sent to the principles office, again, today, fuck.

We look at each other for a few seconds and then burst out in simultaneous laughter.

A few reasons why we laughed so hard . . . .

1. The girl was an slut in the popular group.

2. The guy was an ass hole.

3. It was totally embarassing to both of them!

"Oh honhonhon..." Romano said.

I stare at her with O.O eyes. "Who the fuck are you, France?"

"Well, he did help raise me!"

I retort with, "So then I wonder how much of his perverted-ness rubbed off on you then, you tomato bastard you."

Romano glared at me. "Fuck you... Wait, I'd rather not. Potato bastard..."

"I wouldnt fuck you either Tomato bastard, Pfft, who wouldn't want to fuck this awesomeness? Oh fuck ... Prussia moment O.o"

"Well, back to what we were talking about before..."

* * *

><p><strong>~ RING! ~<strong>

**~ RING! RING! ~**

**~ RING! ~**

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><p>"Oh fuck this!" I scream out loudly. A few heads turning in our direction after my erm, quite loud outburst.<p>

"I hate that FUCKING bell!" Romano echoes after me, even louder, and we get even more weird looks as we head to our lockers to get the our stuff for our next class in hell...

I wonder how tomorrow will turn out . . . .

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><p><strong>C: That wasn't a melo-dramatic ending at all, Britty...<strong>  
><strong>B: Shut up bitch . . . .<strong>  
><strong>C: Review! And for those of you doubting my existence, I have two things to say: 1.) Fuck you! 2.) I now know how Saint Fang of Boredom's Justin feels. Anyone want to create me an "I EXIST!" support group? *sniffle*<strong>  
><strong>B: Its alright tomato bastard, i know your real, i have to many scars and bruises to say other wise! PEEPS! before you review (which you all will since, pfft, fuck it) REVIEW BITCHES . AND TELL US WHICH FRUITVEGGIE IS THE BEST! its totally the potato...**  
><strong>C: It's totally the tomato, you bastard! Anyway, if this is how you treat all the people who read this, I may have to... ummm... 'dispose' of you before you can frighten them all away... Kolkolkol<strong>  
><strong>B: FUCK . . . .. O.O SPAIN SAVE ME!<strong>  
><strong>C: Kolkolkol... No one to save you, no one to hear your screams! <strong>**Sorry this chapter is mostly AU's, but we will start making longer chapters. It's just that nothing reeeealy interesting happened today.**

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><p><strong>B: See that button down there? its your new best friend! JK lolz, wait no, it is. CLICK IT DAMN YOU! CLICK IT! .<strong>

**REVIEW!**

**\|/**

**V**


	2. December 1st 2011 2nd Period

**C: Heey! Did you know that today's AIDS/HIV awareness day? Show your support and raise awareness by wearing a red ribbon!**  
><strong>B: Who gives a flying fuck, bitch?<strong>  
><strong>C: Your so cruel! There are millions of people affected by AIDs, and they certainly give a shit! Remind me why I'm friends with you when you're such a potato bastard!<strong>  
><strong>B: YEAH? WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH ME THEN? No, YOU ARE A FUCKING TOMATO BASTARD! .<strong>  
><strong>C: What the fuck is wrong with you today, potato bastard? Are you fucking PMSing?<strong>  
><strong>B : . . . .<strong>  
><strong>C: Uhh! Waaaay too much information! I may just be traumatized for life!<strong>  
><strong>B: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR . . . . . . Fuck you hard with a tomato, the pointy part.<strong>  
><strong>C: Which fucking part is that? They're fucking round!<strong>  
><strong>B: The stem you asshole!<strong>  
><strong>C: Bitch... <strong>  
><strong>B: Haha :P<strong>  
><strong>C: Anyway, lets get back to what we started this for. Which would be to distance ourselves from saying we own Hetalia. Because, unfortunately, we cannot become one with Mother Russia until we own Vanya... That might take a while, so don't hold your breath.<strong>  
><strong>B: :( I Vant to become vone vith motha Russiya<strong>  
><strong>C: Who doesn't? Well, back to what happened today.<strong>

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><p><strong>C: We have another member of our Merry Band of Misfits to introduce to you. (You should feel priveleged!) So, we'll call her Camerica, like a mix of America and Canada. She might make an appearance either this chapter or the next. Deepest joy of joys.<strong>

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><p><em><strong>REVIEWS<strong>_

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><p><em><strong>C: To our dear friend Franada4ever, we would like you to know how much we appreciate your review. Awesome name, by the way. France and Canada are cute together in a kind of incestuous way. <strong>_  
><em><strong>I think I speak for the both of us when we say we would have acted similarly to the way you would have. And yes, all of these events really occurred... (Which is why some days we won't post as nothing overly interesting happened.)<strong>_

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><p>Germany's POV<p>

December 1st, 2011 P.E

So I was in P.E, getting REALLY pissed off at many people...

Nothing unusual for a regular day in this hell hole.

Back to why I was pissed.

I faced the guy who had just asked me why I had tried to kill myself last year.

Yeah, he had asked that.

In front of the whole class.

The bastard.

I hope he burns in hell.

Oh god, here comes Miss Popular.

"It's going to be okay, Germany, its going to be okay." she says as she PETS my arm with a  
>sneer on her face.<p>

(C: Like an evil cat lady? The really old ones? B: Yeah, just like that.)

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><p>SHE<p>

.

FUCKING

.

PETTED

.

ME

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><p>I wanted to kill her.<p>

I mean, I REALLY wanted to.

My hand was itching to wrap itself around her throat and squeeze.

I couldn't.

I wouldn't.

If I were to kill this pathetic excuse for a girl I would be put in an asylum, away from S. Italy.

I would not do such a thing to Romano.

(C: Awww, I feel so loved. : / B: Your ruining the moment bitch!)

So I wrapped my hand around the other in an attempt to restrain it from murdering another human being.

Fuck.

I need to learn how to contain my inner turmoil.

(B: Damn, how Russian can you get?)

Okay back to P.E. If I get a F in paying attention I might kill something.

Wow, I knew I was masochistic, but sadistic?

Hmmm, we learn something new every day!

Oh right, P.E,

Damn I get distracted easily.

* * *

><p>~RING~<p>

~RING~RING~

~RING~

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><p>Wow, how convenient.<p>

(C: No shit, Sherlock. You were just spared time in hell, and all you have to say is 'how convenient'! Wait, I forgot that the devil doesn't want you 'cause he's afraid you'll take over! B: :P you know it bitch!)

I wonder what Romano's doing . . .. . . . .

* * *

><p><strong>B: Well, just telling you people out there what happened in Physical Education today. I don't know what Captian did most of the day, but it couldnt have been more interestinger then MY day!<strong>  
><strong>C: Ahh, Britty, how would you know? And, by the way, there is no such thing as "interestinger". I thought you'd like to know.<strong>  
><strong>B: Fuck you, bitch.<strong>  
><strong>C: I'd rather you not, thanks. <strong>**:{l**** MUSTACHE MAN! I just thought of that, and had to share it with you. **  
><strong>B: this shit is getting boring, wrap it up!<strong>  
><strong>C: Okay, okay! Jeez, your so temperamental! By the way, readers, I'll be the one submitting this today, so no need to worry about Britty threatening you with disembowelment if you don't review. And if she does... kolkolkol...<strong>  
><strong>B: Fuck, where's that other tomato bastard when you need him?<strong>  
><strong>C: Don't say another word, Britty... Anyway, reviews are appreciated, but not necessary! Ciao. And if you guys review, the next chapter may be in my POV! Something to look forward too, eh?<strong>  
><strong>B: Haha, you sound like that guy above America!<strong>  
><strong>C: Canada, damnit! Get it right!<strong>  
><strong>B: Who are you again? ;)<strong>  
><strong>C: Shut it, bitch...<strong>


	3. December 4th 2011 3rd Period

**B: 3rd day of HIMS, yay...**  
><strong>C: We own NADA! (Or Spanish for 'nothing', if you're a potato bastard like Britty.)<strong>  
><strong>B: I thought NADA was some kind of abbreviation of some shit or something. WHY DO YOU FUCKING CARE SO FUCKING MUCH ABOUT THE FUCKING DISCLAIMER.<strong>  
><strong>C: Fuck you, your horrible Spanish, and your horrible grammar. You guys have no idea how much fucking editing I have to do to make these chapters legible. <strong>  
><strong>B: WAT CHOU GAT AGAYNST MEI GRAMMERA BEITXH?<strong>  
><strong>C: That's precisely my point. Now shut the fuck up and write already!<strong>

* * *

><p>December 4th, 2011<p>

3rd Period

Germany POV

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><p>"Don't you just loooove 8th graders?"<p>

I mutter under my breath to Camerica as I glare at said 8th graders after I caught them whispering about me.

"Just ignore them!" Malfred (B: :P Malfred, that's right!) urges, she probably doesn't want me to get into another fight again.

Well, the reason for the gossip is the fact that I almost killed my friend Belarus' Ex-Boyfriend Lithuania.

(C: Trust me, he's a dick-less bastard!)

The reason for the ALMOST homicide was that he started an official 'I hate Germany' club.

Yeah.

He had the nerve.

That fucking bastard.

I hopes he burns in the deepest, darkest, and hottest pit in hell.

* * *

><p><strong><em>~Flashback~<em>**

* * *

><p>You now come upon me screaming as I struggled to get out of Romano's, Belarus's, and Malfred's restraining arms.<p>

My hands were formed into claws as I reached for the quivering, just out of my grasp, Lithuanians' neck.

"God Germany, give it a bloody, fucking, rest! Only I can hurt Lithuania, or any of the Baltics for that matter! Stop making a scene you wanker. I bet your doing it for the fucking attention, Hoping your _Beloved _Mother Russia will notice. Fat chance you bloody git." England sneered at me from a safe distance away.

I struggled even harder after that.

I was going to stab her.

NO ONE INSULTS RUSSIA, ESPECIALLY INFRONT OF ME.

Oh just a few more inches and I will have her.

I WILL make her scream for mercy, just so i can deny her cries.

"Please, Please, Please, Stop!" Malfred whispered into my back.

"Potato Bastard, Its not worth it, Mother Russia would not be impressed with you mercilelessly slaughtering a peice of shit in his name." Romano said grimly, loosening her hold on me as i relaxed ever so slightly.

"Your right." I muttered.

I tried to relax my hands back into their natural shape, but the still hang like claws at my side.

The best i can do is ball them into tight fists, with the nuckles white and the finger nails digging into the palms of my hands.

I turned away from the still sneering English-woman, still quivering Lithuanian, and the just appearing Latvian and Estonian.

"Come on, breaks almost over and I want to get my chocolate milk." I say with a scary as shit glare on my face and an aura around me that just screamed death.

Malfred and Belarus back away slowly as a I walk toward them.

I grimace.

I must look really scary, I think with a frown.

I sigh.

"Everything is okay, I promise!" I say as I try to put on my most convincing smile.

Both of them brighten instantly as the walk towards me to give me a hug.

As I look over at Romano I see a glint of sadness and suspicion in her eyes, she tried to hide it with a smile, but to no avail.

(C: Can't fool me, bitch!)

The damage was done.

I had seen that look before.

It meant she wasn't fully convinced with my performance.

Shit.

End of Flashback

So there I was, painting a fucking wall, all by myself, feeling lonely and pissed.

The reason for the loneliness was because my faithful Malfred had run of to find a plate of french fries.

The pissiness partly because the rest of our painting crew bailed on us, and the other half for them bailing on us ONLY to sit down and gossip ABOUT me.

Those fucking bitches.

I finish up painting the wall a dark grey color.

After I put away the painting supplies (alone = No help), I sat down in one of the theatre chairs.

(B: In case any of you are wondering what the fuck I was doing, the answer is simple. I have stagecraft in the theatre.)

I think about a few things that have been on my mind for a while.

One big thing.

Russia.

My everlasting love.

But he would hardly notice me, least of all talk to me.

I sigh.

I start thinking about the other minor things.

Like how my friend Switzerland has a crush on Latvia.

How Belarus is having trouble getting over Lithuania.

How Lithuania has a crush on England.

AND how England is dating (C: More like abusing, but who gives a shit. Her boyfriend can go dig a hole and die.) Estonia.

I then though of Malfred, and how she was very close to Estonia, FUCK, they were almost related for how close they were.

I hope I don't sound jealous, because I, the awesome Germany, am totally not.

FUCK.

I wonder whats taking Camerica so damn long.

I hope she isn't lost...

* * *

><p><strong>C: It's definitely a poss<strong>**bility... Anything is possible with her.**  
><strong>B: Haha IKR?<strong>  
><strong>M: You guys are so mean...<strong>  
><strong>B: Malfred, when the fuck did you get here?<strong>  
><strong>C: I let her on at the beginning. How did you not notice?<strong>  
><strong>B: I hardly notice when Camerica comes in or out, and that's actually me being truthful for once!<strong>  
><strong>C: Fuck you! At least you notice Camerica a little more than poor, forgotten Canada.<strong>  
><strong>B: Who the Flying Fuck is that?<strong>  
><strong>M: I think I will go fnd a corner to cry in...<strong>  
><strong>B: Haha, you go do that Malfred, you go do that.<strong>  
><strong>B: Oh right, REVIEW BITCHES, REVIEW BEFORE I FUCKING CASTRATE YOU AND SHOVE YOUR WHATEVERS DOWN YOUR FUCKING THROAT!<strong>  
><strong>C: Britty, what did I say? <strong>  
><strong>B: I dont' give a fuck about what you said...<strong>  
><strong>C: Do you care about what I'll do, then?<strong>  
><strong>M: Your acting like a review whore...<strong>  
><strong>B: O.O YOU DIDN'T JUST FUCKING SAY THAT!<strong>  
><strong>M: FUCK ! CAPTAIN SAVE MEEEEEEEE!<strong>  
><strong>C: *Runs in front of Camerica, and shields her with own body* Fuck off, physco bitch! Back to the fiery pit from whence you came! *Pulls a sword from behind back*<strong>  
><strong>B: MOVE OUT OF MY WAY YOU TOMATO FUCKING BITCH, I GOTS TO RAPE THIS MAPLE SYRUP LOVER UP THE ASS, AND HARD!<strong>  
><strong>C: Don't make me come over there and whup your sorry ass!<strong>  
><strong>B: I dont think so bitch, not today, not ever. now Malfred, say your sorry and all shall be forgiven, for today atleast.<strong>  
><strong>M: M-maple... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, DON'T HURT MEEEE!<strong>  
><strong>B: Apology accepted. Now lets get back to wrapping this chapter up shall we?<strong>  
><strong>C: Where's your American pride? Up your ass? Don't give in, not now!<strong>  
><strong>M: I'm sorry Captain, she's just so scary... <strong>  
><strong>B: Hmmmm, thanks for the complement.<strong>  
><strong>C: It wasn't bitch! I shudder to think of any man and children you come to possess later in life! They're going to be living in constant fear for the rest of their fucking lives!<strong>  
><strong>B: Not if its my dear Russia! <strong>  
><strong>M: Or the Devil for that matter...<strong>  
><strong>C: Nice one, Cammy!<strong>  
><strong>B: O.o your pissing me off again...<strong>  
><strong>M: I'm sooorry...<strong>  
><strong>C: Well, ciao for now. I think we should wrap this up before Britty kills someone.<strong>  
><strong>M: Nooooooooooooo!<strong>  
><strong>B: Kololololololololol...<strong>  
><strong>M:O.o<strong>  
><strong>C: Ciao!<strong>

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><p><strong>Review Pwease?<strong>


	4. December 5th 2011 Lunch Break

**B: Okay! 4th day, we're on a roll!**  
><strong>C: Yeah! lets do this!<strong>  
><strong>M: I don't know how you can be happy ALL the time...<strong>  
><strong>B: Because people remember who we are bitch!<strong>  
><strong>M: It's sad to say that you are actually true... sigh...<strong>  
><strong>C: Stop being a bitch, Britty! What did poor Cammy ever do to you?<strong>  
><strong>B: She exists...<strong>  
><strong>M: That was uncalled for!<strong>  
><strong>B: Nope, not really, you piss me off, over and over, over and over, you try not to, over and over...<strong>  
><strong>C: I fucking introduced you to Three Days Grace, bitch! <strong>  
><strong>B: Pftt, no you didn't bitch. My fucking Danish Brother did. (P.S: He's Denmark in this. Captain wanted him to be Russia, I'm not into incest! well, not THAT way!)<strong>  
><strong>C: With all the sick things you do, I wouldn't be surprised!<strong>  
><strong>B: You incestuous BASTARD! You and Feli bitch!<strong>  
><strong>C: WTF?<strong>  
><strong>M: It's true! Ive seen them at it! *Shudders as the memories come flooding back in*<strong>  
><strong>C: What the fuck? How can you sprout lies about that? I don't even know someone I consider Feli! Don't get me started on all the things I've seen you do in your brother's room! Two words!<strong>  
><strong>B: Shut up bitch! Fine, truce! Just stop picking on my poor, <strong>_**Innocent, **_**brother! ; )**  
><strong>M: Sigh... Just, just... sigh.<strong>  
><strong>B: Okay! lets get this party started!<strong>  
><strong>C: What the fuck?<strong>

**Reviews**  
><strong>C: To horror-movie-3er: I'm glad you like it! I'm glad that you think this fic. is different from others. We try and update every day, but with the shit-load of homework these teachers give us, it's sometimes difficult. On a happier note, I'm glad we're making an influence on you. Our humor is at times... ummm... sadistic, so try not to pick up on that. Haha... Keep reading, and make sure to give us your opinion!<strong>

**C: To Horses4ever: The story idea, or my mustache man?... Just kidding, and thanks for R&R-ing!**

**To Franada4ever: I agree with you about the Russia thing... I also have a bit of Russia in me, but it's too late to change it now! (Well, not really, but I'm feeling lazy...) Unfortunately, the Slutty!Poland group does not agree with you about our awesomeness, and they're "Popular". (B: For being sluts.) Pfft. Anyway, you deserve a cookie for being our first reviewer. Unfortunately, cookies are kind of hard to bake in the computer. But the thoughts there!**

**B: I am going to introduce the Slutty!Poland group. There's Queen Slutty Poland and McSlutty Slutt Poland. Two different people, same amount of sluttyness.**  
><strong>C: Don's forget MW! (Or Man Whore, for those of you that didn't know.) And why are you picking on poor Poland? What did he ever do to you?<strong>  
><strong>B: Haha, your right!... No seriously, lets start this fucker.<strong>

Germany POV

December 5th, 2011

Lunch break

"So as I was saying, during P.E, we were all walking back to the locker rooms and I feel something hard against the back of my leg. I fall to the ground, turn around and see McSlutty Slutt Poland walking away with a hockey stick in her hand! She didn't even say sorry, that tomato fucker!" I growl.

"What the fuck? She's a bitch, we all know that, but was it necessary to add my tomatoes to the mix!" Romano yelled.

"Yes, yes it was." I say simply as I sit down next to her on our comfy bench.

"Fucking potato bastard..."

"Tomato bastard with pasta on the side."

"Bitch! France fucked you to create French fries!"

"No, he fucked Prussia, we both know they had something..."

"True, True. O.o"

**5 MINUTES LATER**

"You have one too many tomato's up your ass, or is that your nonexistent Spain's dick?"

"You have too many beer bottles down your fucking throat! Or is it Austria's cock?"

" YOU BITCH! COME BACK HERE YOU MOTHER FUCKING, TOMATO SAUCE MAKING, BASTARD!" I yell after Romano's quickly shrinking figure as she runs away to her mommy.

(C: That's not fucking true! I calmly walked to my mom's class because I lost my fucking house key and the maid always locks the fucking door when she leaves! I had to get the key now or be fucking locked out of my apartment later, bitch!)

"Bitch..." I mutter under my breath as i stand up and go look for a random Lithuanian to kill.

Aha! I found him!

I creep around to the back of him and get ready to pounce.

Wait.

He was talking with the other Baltics about...

Belarus.

Fuck! Now I can't turn away.

I jump into the bushes and stay undetected for the following conversation:

"I miss Belarus..." Lithuania sighs.

"That's understandable." says Latvia from behind his computer.

"I mean, I like England, but, there is just something about Belarus that makes me... What's the word?" Lithuania inquired looking at Estonia, (who was reading the dictionary over again for the second time that day.) for guidance.

"Happy? Young? Loved?" Estonia drawls automatically.

"Yes that's the word!" Lithuania retorted with happiness. Latvia and Estonia look at each other, not knowing which word was correct.

"Oh well" Estonia sighs as he walks over to the library to return the borrowed Dictionary in his hands.

(B: You think after all these years he would have gotten his own personal copy. C: You haven't known him that long, idiot! B: I have known him almost 4 years. bitch! C: Suuure you have...)

The conversation was over. (C: No shit, Sherlock!

I had just gained some new and valuable information.

My head was spinning with the things I had just learned.

I stood up slowly as I jumped back out of the bushes I had previously been taking rufuge in.

I walked back to my locker in a daze.

"Whats wrong with you, potato bastard?" Romano asks questionably.

"Nothing Romano, it's nothing." I sigh as I walk past her.

I only had one thing on my mind, one thing, and one thing only.

Lithuania still likes Belarus.

Fuck.

**C: Well bitch, you just confirmed my earlier thoughts. FAIL! I have a surprise for you guys! The next part will be in my POV~! **  
><strong>B: WTF DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?<strong>  
><strong>C: I mean the fact that you just confirmed what I was thinking earlier, bitch!<strong>

Romano's POV

December 5, 2011

Third Period

So I now have P.E. Deepest joy of joys, the world may continue to spin.

I got up from our bench and walked over to Boris and put in his combination.

I know most of you are probably thinking, "What the fuck! How is she putting a combo in a person?" Well, Boris is my locker.

Don't look at me like that! Britty named him, and hers is named Ivan!

Well, after grabbing my stuff I started walking over to the gym. That was until I heard a voice call, "Romano!"

I turned around and saw Switzerland waving at me as she tried to open her locker. I moved back towards her.

"Hey. We have P.E. next."

"I know... Will you wait for me?"

"No... But I'll walk really slowly."

"No, wait!"

I just kept walking... Hahaha... I love doing that to her... I had just started walking across the field when Switz caught up to me.

"Hey!" she said.

"Vash! Fancy meeting you here!" She rolled her eyes at me, and we kept walking.  
>"So, one of my friends found my mathbook!" Of course she did...<p>

"Pray tell, where did she find it?"

"I have no fricking idea. I had checked both lost and founds." She started flipping threw it, and landed on the last page of work. "Hey, the last time I used this was in September!"

Just as we got to the gym doors, Belarus came out. "Hey, can you wait for us?" I asked her.

"Sure." She held the door open for us as we entered the gym and went into the changing rooms.

"Nice to know it's no longer MIA. Maybe you'll actually bring your homework to class now!"

She glared at me. Surprise, surprise.

After getting changed, we went to sit on the benches inside the gym. I put my socks on, and then my shoes.

Our P.E. teacher came out and had us line up on the basketball court outside to do his creepy-ass exercises. He had us walking like fucking zombies! What was the point of this shit?

After this, we were told to pick up a tire over our heads and walk across the field. One of the boys had his ass out behind him as he walked. Seeing this, I started singing obnoxiously. "Just gonna stand there and hear me roar, but that's alright because I am a dinosaur!"

Belarus and Switz followed my outstretched hand and started laughing when they saw who I was pointing to. I got shot dirty looks from the group next to us, which mainly consisted of the 'popular group', which consisted mainly of boy-toys. Shocker!

After that, the asshole had us run around the track for a whole lap, then walk half a lap, then run half a lap, and then walk a whole fucking lap. Again, whats the damn point? I can just feeeel myself becoming healthy... (NOTE THE SARCASM!)

Me and Belarus had ended up running together while poor Vash was left behind... I felt bad, but the last time I had slowed down to run with her, the teacher had yelled at us. Bastard...

So, once we had gone through that particular ring of hell, we started floor hockey. "So everyone grab a stick..." As he trailed on, I started snickering. That's what she said...

Belarus and Switz looked at me and saw the laughter in my eyes. I did our 'Oh honhonhon' hand motion, and gestured to the hockey sticks. Ah, they got that disgusted look in their eyes... That tickles me.

So after we got a stick, we did some basic passing to warm up. The puck we were using was crap... and Switz couldn't tell one side of a hockey stick from another.

I lost count of how many times I got hit with her stick...

And to make it worse, my fucking stalker was some how getting closer and closer to my group.

Fuck!

Annnnnnnd there goes my good mood...

**C: I'm so fucking tired right now... Britty's grammar, spelling, and punctuation is fucking horrible! I spent like an hour editing this fucker. You guys had better appreciate this damn chapter...**  
><strong>B: My grammar isn't that bad! its perfectly fine!<strong>  
><strong>C: For a three year old!<br>B: Bitch!**  
><strong>M: Can't you two go a few minutes without swearing and reaching for each others throats?<strong>  
><strong>B &amp; C: NO!<strong>


	5. Author's Note: Kinda Important

**Hey PEEPS!**

No, we are not dropping the story, sorry to disappoint! :P

Actually, we just wanted to say that we am very sorry we haven't updated in a really long time, It is just that with so much home work and school work we just haven't had enough time to update regularly.

But we are going to try harder now in the new year to update more frequently! We are on our winter break right now and school starts back up on the 8th of January, 2012.

So just giving everyone a heads up!

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Your Authors For Ever,

_ChidorixCixBritannia & Captain_Sarcasm22_


	6. December 28th 2011 Winter Break

**Chidori-Chan: Hey Peeps! This is my little (really late) Christmas gift (Chapter) for every follower we have out there! Special thanks to Franada4Ever for being the first and most dedicated reviewer! *Gives a Russian GLOMP* and to everyone else *Gives a virtual ginger bread cookie to anyone who comes across this piece of literature*. ~Sighs~ My Romano isn't here to accompany me while writing this, so please bare with me through the horrible and torturous grammar that will proceed. Soooo this will be a surprise (Hopefully a good one) for my lovable TB (short for Tomato Bastard). This chappy is about little drabbles that happened throughout our winter break.**

_Disclaimer (So Captain doesn't skin me alive)_: I do not own Hetalia, but I do own my insane mind.

Rated M for heavy swearing and even heavier Sarcasm! :P

_**So Here I Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!**_

* * *

><p>Winter Break<p>

December 28th, 2011

Germany's POV

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><p>I was dying, well not literally, but I still wished it.<p>

The reason for my current wish was the 4 and ½ hour, now turned to 6 FULL hour car ride. Now under normal circumstances it wouldn't have bothered me, I would usually go off into the deepest and most interesting corners of my vast waste land of a mind and conjure up a fantasy that would last throughout the unusually large amount of time that was in my hands.

Now back to the reason why this was impossible for me at the moment was that the 2 most annoying people I have known since I left the womb of my dearest mother decided that 'dear liddle Luddy' should spend more time with the so called 'family' that was in the same car as the awesome me.

I glared at the main devil, mostly because he actually knew how it tortured me to be near these people. As you people might have guessed, these 2 annoying masses of gore, where somehow my siblings.

The 'main devil' was my eldest brother, who we shall all learn to know as Vermilliation. (Don't ask, it just came to mind). V was your average gossip girl, except he was a guy, in every way, besides the fact that he dresses and looks and acts like Justin (SHUT THE HELL UP) Beaver, he was utterly, completely male. So V was known by everyone at his college of UVA as a social butterfly.

But all in all, he was a complete bastard to me, he may be known as 'nice' or 'super funny!' but to me, he is the devil wearing skin tight jeans, loose V neck shirt with a beer in hand and a cigarette between his lips. But enough about V, He was just annoying to think about, the other devil is my younger brother, who is now 'Nerp'.

Nerp did everything and anything he could to annoy me to the brink of annoyed insanity. So you could see how he jumped with glee, an evil glint in his squinty little bugger eyes, when V told him of this plan to infuriate me to no end. So there I was with V and Nerp making me feel like a knife should be in my hands and a Belarus moment should over take me.

When we finally reached our 'beloved' home I quickly used my ninja skills to avoid them, AND the duty of unpacking the car which was full of crap since we had just came back from a 5 day camping trip, in the middle of the fucking dessert, in Egypt, on Christmas eve, night, and day.

So you could see me jumping with joy when I found out about the trip. If you didn't get the sarcasm that was literally drenching that sentence I might just have to castrate you.

When I entered the entrance of my quarters I noticed my middle brother enter his. I sigh a sad sigh as I think about our relationship. I will call him Thor; it suits him very well actually. He was like me, or, the correct term, I was just like him, just the opposite gender. He was quiet, resigned, hilarious, and kind.

But since he hardly speaks to me, I wouldn't know these things if I hadn't seen them when he is around other people.

I don't know why he hated me, I loved him very much, He was my favorite out of our weird, twisted, poorly made make shift of a family. I heard stories from Mother, why he acted this way towards me.

* * *

><p>~Flash Back~<p>

* * *

><p>It started when I was born, Thor was absolutely depressed he was being replaced, yet, he never showed it. His unemotional face stayed the same; he let the emotion go through with its intention of making him hate the new off spring his parents were bringing home that day.<p>

But when he saw me, for the first time, he felt the pang of brotherly love, right through the heart. From that day onwards, the only time he smiled was when he was with his little sister.

We were inseparable; he bathed me, fed me, and slept with my crib in his room. He would only let my Mother change my diapers, which was it. My Parents thought it was adorable, my eldest brother hated it.

I had taken 'his' baby brother away from him. He tried whenever he could to make me cry. Thor always protected me. This went on for years, until one day Thor had to leave for a school trip.

I cried, missing my Bruder, but then comfort came from the most unlikely of places, V.

He dressed me for school and helped me get ready for the day. Thor was gone a week, but V kept me company, I soon forgot about my beloved Bruder.

So you can imagine his horror and utter agony when he came back expecting his little 'Luddy' to come running into his arms when in fact she stayed with V, always. Thor started to distance himself from me and soon enough, after I had declared V my favorite brother, Thor slipped away from me completely.

Not a short time after that did V show me his true intentions of it all. I had been betrayed by my 'precious V' and my Thor was gone. I grew up alone from then on.

And when Nerp decided to show up in my Mothers stomach, well, V was delighted! Another person to torment me when he wasn't there! Thor always watched from afar, with a sad look in his light blue eyes.

* * *

><p>~ End Of Flash Back~<p>

* * *

><p>I sighed again, bringing myself out of the memory. I opened the door, and shut it behind me with a loud 'click'! I leaned against the door, and slowly slid down the white painted wood.<p>

I let my eye lids go to half mast after I looked around the room, it was as it should be, the black clothing thrown haphazardly around the room set off the huge amount of pink.

The twin beds, with their fuzzy pink and orange covers were littered with books, clothing, and art supplies.

My pink rug was battling with black for the upper hand in which color showed more.

The reason for all the pink was simply, when I was a child I loved the color, not because I liked it, in fact I despised it. But, Thor was always most happy around me when I was in pink. So the affect stayed.

I looked up into my very cramped book shelf, I swear, If books had a China, it wouldn't be a library it would be my collection of books. You couldn't pull a book off, you had to have a battle of strength, and had to be stubborn enough to actually WANT to get it out or you would just give up.

I got up and checked the hidden compartment I had made for my money in one of the books. Everything was right from a glance inside.

I wandered over towards my beds and sat on the one with my laptop near its base on the oak wood floor. I pulled it into my lap and lazily opened it, turning it on.

Skype popped open and I scrolled (yes, I have so many I scroll) down my contacts list to see if anyone of mild interest was online at the moment.

England's Man Whore was on, No, not Lithuania, but Estonia. I had heard from England, Estonia, and Camerica all mixed together that England was actually DATING Estonia (I had heard a few weeks ago, actually).

Naturally I threw a fit, I found out they had been for months, and Camerica knew about, Hell even the Swiss bitch did! I was pissed at the world, but never My S. Italy, she had not known, and of course didn't give a fuck about it.

I had my suspicions, but the fact that Malfed didn't tell me of it, I was raging to kill someone for hours to say the least. A 'Bing!' brought me out of my reverie of thoughts back to the screen.

Hey –England's ..Boi posted (Don't you just love his Skype name I gave him? ;D).

Estonia was talking to me? I thought with curiosity. I peck the 'Y', 'O', and 'Enter' key is a sluggish pace and wait for his reply.

And the conversation went as the following.

* * *

><p>E: What is wrong with the world?<p>

B: what's wrong?

E: England's is away.

B: ….. And?….

E: It hurts so much

B: How bad, How much, and what did you do?

E: I think the cut in my wrist is enough.

B: . . . . .

E: I can't stand being away from her

B: I know the feeling

E: Do you?

B: Yes, I know exactly what you're feeling

E: How

B: Because, My beloved is gone, and just out of my grasp

E: Hmmmm, I guess you do know then. But Ludd, it hurts so much…

B: Hey Ess

E: Yes Ludds?

B: I miss you

E: I do too

B: Really?

E: Yeah I miss talking with you.

B: I do to! Ever since you started, you know, with that tea leave fucker we haven't talked!

E: No need to insult her!

B: Oh well

(Sorry but here I cut it, I will explain later)

* * *

><p>~ 1 hour and 23 minutes later ~<p>

* * *

><p>I shut the lid of my laptop down and stretched my legs out so they were straight, and slid it slowly down them till it neatly landed on the floor. I pulled my socks of and slipped under the covers, my mind was twirling and whirling with everything me and Ess talked about.<p>

He feels insecure, like she might get up and leave him, and she probably will I thought bitterly. But, we cleared everything up, and I was glad. But then I thought back to something I brought up in the conversation.

England has stolen all three of my loves, I thought sadly as a tear ran down my cheek. She has also managed to have 4 admirers, hell maybe even more, since she moved her in august. It has only been 5 months, and she has had 4 guys.

How long have I been here? 3 and ½ years I thought with bitter sweet malice, and not a single guy.

She stole the heart of Denmark, one of my best friends, and the one I secretly loved. I stood by with a broken smile, with only Romano and Malfed for comfort.

And then while having the love of Estonia, my other best guy friend; I sadly remembered how he had admitted his attraction to me, only a year ago. But I dismissed it, not thinking it was real, and he lost interest.

The third, over a trip to the sea with Latvia I managed to find myself intrigued by him, only to find out his heart lay in London. I let the tears spill over. How was I not good enough?

Then, a horrible thought hit me. My eyes widened in terror. What if my beloved fell for her? My love, he was perfect, a mix of Denmark, Sweden and Russia. He was my Mother Russia.

But the fact that chilled me to the bone was that, many people and countries alike had commented on how England and my Russia would probably eventually get together, even though they were opposites, they still attract, right? I shuddered.

I banned the thought from my mind, lest it give me nightmares. I slowly drifted off to my dream land, where Thor still loved me, My Russian was mine forever, and where we all lived in a big house, with Romano, and her finally found Spain.

Camerica would drop in on the weekends and stay overnight. She would live in the same house as Belarus and Swiss next to us. Our back yard was filled with sunflowers. And it was never cold. Just like Russia wanted it. And that was how it was; we were all happy, complete.

No evil English woman to disturb us, no J(STFU)B to traumatize me, V was a lot like Belarus in a sense, I mused, another thing Russia and I had in common, we both hated our psychotic siblings.

I awoke to darkness, I sighed. I thought of something that would calm my nerves, I decided to go take a bath.

I sat up and walked over to the bathroom, I set the water to Mordor temp and waited for the water to fill the huge tub. It took a few minutes and once I deemed it ready I threw in 2 handfuls of Eucalyptus Bath Salts.

I watched with interest as the green colored flecks dissolved in the hot water and turned it a shade of mint green. A heady minty smell filled the room and hung in the air, searching for a way to escape. I stripped of my clothes from the previous day and slowly slid into the water.

I could already feel my muscles relax and my nerves settle back in the category of 'sane'. I stayed still in the water for a few more minutes; when I looked down at my fingers to see if they were prune-like yet, they seemed to be, so I started to wash my hair, I scraped the dirt and grime of my body, and then I settled back into the water.

I watched with fascination as the suds disappeared into a white sheen over the water. I slid under water just too thoroughly make sure there wasn't any more shampoo in my hair. I raised my head out of the water and reached for the Conditioner and squeezed the sweet smelling stuff out into the palm of my hand.

I lathered it into my hair and then sat back and thought of everything that has been happening. Estonia was becoming unstable without England, I tried to get him to rely on me, but he wouldn't budge. He is addicted to her, and without her he starts to hurt himself and then others, both physically and emotionally.

I sunk under the surface and shook my head viciously; I brought my head to the surface and felt if there was any more soft stuff left in my hair, there wasn't. I sighed as I pulled the plug and watched the water make a whirlpool as it sped down the drain and into the sewers.

I waited for all the water to leave before getting out of the tub and wrapping a towel around my frame. I walked back to my room, and along the way I checked to see if anyone else was awake. I didn't see or hear a soul.

I closed my door behind me and changed into a pair of jammy pants and a loose fitting T-shirt. I walked over towards my bed, which my cat had decided to curl up on. I sat down next to him and petted him idly before bending over to pick up my computer, I opened my laptop and checked if anyone was on Skype before I opened a new internet browser and scrolled over CNN, North Korean leader is still dead, blablabla blabla blablabla.

Face book didn't have anything mildly interesting, I sighed; no one wanted to even TRY to entertain me anymore. I opened up FF and was happy to see one of my favorite stories was updated. I pulled my JAMZ earphones out of my bedside table and plugged them in.

I looked over at YouTube, and choose Comatose – By Skillet and watched in wonder as SNOW started to fall in the video.

W.T..happening?

I looked around and saw the snowflake button. I pressed it, the snow stopped. I franticly clicked again. I let out a relieved sigh as it started to snow again.

IT WAS AMAZING!

I started to giggle, and I continued for the rest of the day.

Snow always had a way to put me in a good mood.

Just like a certain Russian I knew.

Oh Ivan!

* * *

><p><strong>Chidori-Chan: And that's a wrap! Just wanted to show you what I did over winter break (which wasn't very much). But seriously check out the snowy thing on YouTube! Have a happy new year! And please review! (See! I can ask nicely!) <strong>

***holds out cookie jar***


	7. Chapter 7, Captain DON'T READ, BRITTY!

**PS. - If you are someone by the name of Britty, ignore this.**

* * *

><p>Hey, guys, it's me, Captain.<p>

Sorry we haven't updated in forever, and, I'm sorry to say that this is discontinued, at least on my side.

You may be asking why, and I have a few reasons.

1.) School is over.

2.) Britty is moving

3.) After rereading this, I think I sound immature and artificial. Really, I'm not like that. *Sigh*

4.)And, I just can't put up with of this bullshit anymore.

I think next year, I'll become some anti-social outcast. It just seems easier than dealing with all this complete and utter crap (drama).

For people that know me well, they know that I hate drama, even though I create it sometimes.

But, even though I hate it, I still want to know about it. If there is any way I can help my friends, I do it, but I need to know first.

For those of you that know Romano, you know that the wall I put up is, 50% of the time, complete and utter shit. Everything affects me more than I let on. For some reason though, I don't think my friends have really caught on to this. Most of the time, rather than letting this emotion out, I bottle it up until one person takes this figurative bottle and throws it against the wall. Not healthy, I know. So you can imagine, after all this time of figuring things out NOT from the people that are supposed to be telling me, I get angry. And emotional. And bitchy.

It's not pretty. I can assure you.

I really wish I wasn't like this. So until a time when I'm not, I'm gonna try and stay away from all of this. I know people probably don't do this intentionally, and think I'm fine when I say "I'm okay."

* * *

><p>God, that was angsty. But, I felt you guys needed to know, ya'know? It felt good to get that out in the open.<p>

Have an amazing summer, guys.

Flock on,

Captain

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><p><strong><span>PS. - If you are someone by the name of Britty, ignore this.<span>**


End file.
